Sunday, December 12, 2010

Security for the Teen Female

I have been getting feedback that I should shorten my posts so they are not so time consuming to read.   I will try it with this post but would like more feedback on if I should continue this way or go back to including all relevant information.  Thanks!
I have split up the categories such as teen female and teen male because each are unique in their circumstance.  Males have a different set of worries than females so they should be discussed separately in order to maximize safety.  Teens, regardless of gender, are at their most vulnerable during this stage in life.  They are trying to find out who they are and tend to either be a pack leader or follower.  As parents know, either path can lead to problems.  I am speaking strictly from an American point of few as many different countries have different views concerning girls and women and other countries also have a higher rate of sex crimes such as prostitution and trafficking that I am not qualified to comment or give advice on 
The main issue with girls at this age deals with sex.  Hormones on both sides are raging, they finally have the freedom to act on their emotions, and they want to feel in control of their lives.  I’m not making a case for abstinence; I’m simply saying that a lot of safety concerns for teen girls are of a sexual nature.   Not only are boys of the same age taking an interest, but men with much more experience in manipulation are unfortunately also taking an interest.  You the female need to be aware of this and on your guard. 
First and foremost, you need to be upfront with males.  They can’t process subtleties when their hormones are raging.  If you want a guy to leave you alone you have to draw a clear line.  I know it is not in most girls’ nature to be “rude” and tell a guy to stop calling but it needs to happen.  Ignoring their phone calls or blowing them off when they talk to you will not make them “get the hint”.  The guy will merely think that he needs to try harder.  If the situation persists, tell somebody.  Make it known.  Tell your parents, tell your girlfriends, tell your other guy friends, or tell your teachers.  Whoever you feel comfortable with.  You should definitely tell someone if an adult man is interested in you, regardless if he is pestering you or not.  Tread carefully and listen to your friends and your instincts.  If it doesn’t feel right it probably isn’t.
Know who you are getting involved with.  If you like a guy that you don’t know very well, guard your personal information closely.  Don’t let him drop you off at home, don’t befriend him on Facebook or MySpace or any other social site where you have a lot of personal information available, and don’t give out your home telephone number.  Also, don’t allow yourself to be alone with him in a private setting until you are sure of his intentions.  Do your own research.  See if you can find him on Facebook.  Go through his pictures and wall posts if you are able and get a feel for what kind of friends this guy has and what he likes to do. 
I will hit internet security pretty hard in another post but for now I will throw out these few tips:  Do not add your home phone number to the white pages listing.  While there are other ways to find out your address or phone number through the internet, don’t make it too easy.  Ensure that you make everything private or “friends only” on your social sites, and then only add people you know.  Facebook has added a new application that allows you to post your current location, and also allows others to post your current location.  If you need help disabling that let me know.   Stay away from chat rooms and web cams. 
Watch your drinks at parties, and if you go to the bathroom make sure somebody else is watching it.  I’m a grown man and I still have someone watch my drink. 
Always have a way out at parties, ensure that there is someone available and reliable who can come and pick you up regardless of the time or place. 
If you are going out with a guy, ensure somebody knows where you are going and when you should be back.
You need to make a decision about sex before you and your guy are naked rolling around on the bed or wherever.  Most men see a “making out” session as a prelude to sex, while the girl simply views it as a wonderful time being together.  If you are not willing to go all the way, keep the “making out” and fondling  limited to someplace at least semi-public and again, set clear boundaries.  Every guy should respect a girl’s wish when she says no, but what if he doesn’t?  You can’t walk into a known bad neighborhood and then be surprised when you get mugged or assaulted.  You have to take some ownership for your actions and decisions, you have to be smart. 
Lastly, be aware of your surroundings.  I’ve covered how to do this in previous posts so if you haven’t read it go back and do so.  It will go a long way in keeping you out of trouble!

Again, this is the first time I’ve attempted to write a shorter post while maintaining the blog’s integrity.  If you like it and it still helps, please let me know.  If you think more sustenance is helpful tell me.
Either way I hope you learned something.