Security for Couples/Families

This may seem like an odd topic, but when you are living with another person(s) you should both/all be on the same page when it comes to security.  This is a struggle in my home as there is one certain individual, I won't mention any names, who prefers to believe that bad things do not happen in her world.  I respect her way of thinking and I actually believe that this world needs those kinds of people, but it makes my job a little more difficult.
I will begin with the home environment first. Let's say that you are the husband or wife who chooses to take your families security serious.  You take some self-defense courses, maybe you even send yourself to a high speed shooting school.  You start what-if'ing different scenarios for the home and certain locations around the city you habitually frequent and develop some decent plans in case things go wrong...but then you have to throw the other members of your family into the equation.  I am not going to go into every possible scenario that could happen, there just isn't the time or space.  But you do have to plan for at least the most probable possibilities as you see them.
Some things you need to take into consideration are:

• Layout of your house and bedroom relative to entry points
• Layout of your house relative to your bedroom vs. your kids 
• The age of your kids and their most probable reaction to a home invasion
• Your spouse's most probable reaction to a home invasion
• A realistic evaluation of your pet's reaction
• If possible, learn the appearance of your family members silhouette's
• Size of your house
• Chosen personal protection weapon

Layout of your house and bedroom relative to entry points:
You need to be aware of all of your most probably entry points and how you are going to protect your family depending on which one is breached. 

Layout of your house relative to your bedroom vs. your kids:
If you are lucky and all of your bedrooms are upstairs, that's an easy one.  You call the police and defend the stairs.  If your bedrooms are spread throughout the house, or have a kid in the basement or vice versa, you need a different plan.

The age of your kids and their most probable reaction to a home invasion:
If they are young are they going to run out to the noise to see what is going on?  Are they going to scream and cry and run to your room, giving away your position as well as possibly making themselves an easy target by running through an area the intruders are already in?  Are they teenagers.  Did they sneak out and are now sneaking back in?  Will they roam about the house causing you to hesitate if you are utilizing a firearm?

Your spouse's most probable reaction to a home invasion:
Will he/she run to the kids room.  Will he/she wake up and turn on the lights, alerting the bad to your location, letting them know you are awake hence taking away your chance of surprise, and ruining your night vision?

A realistic evaluation to your pet's reaction: 
A short 4 years ago, your dog may have been a formidable opponent when someone came crashing through the door.  Now, maybe she doesn't even get up when someone knocks. 

If possible, learn the appearance of your families silhouette's:
This is accomplished simply by hanging out with your family at night.  After spending enough time with people in the dark, it becomes easy to tell who they are just by their silhouette, which may come in handy in a dark house where you are unsure of your families location. 

Size of your house:
This should be obvious.  A small house and everything is more compact.  You need to react quicker as the baddies can get to you faster.  A big house, and things are more spread out.  You may have more time to react.  However, if you do not have an alarm there may be the possibility that the bad guys can enter your home without you even hearing them. 

Chosen personal protection weapon:
I've covered most of this in my Weapons post, but I want to reiterate that when speaking of firearms, over-penetration is your biggest concern.  Do your research and pick the best weapon/ammunition for your house size and location.  The only weapon I recommend for home protection is a firearm.  If you are not going to use a firearm, spend the money creating a safe room, a citadel, that you and your family can retreat to until the police arrive.

These are just a few of the many things you need to think about when you throw variables (people) into your emergency plan of action.

Outside of the home, there are many scenarios that can play out.  If you are serious about your families security you should be what-if'ing everywhere you go.  I've said it before, but once you get it down it will become natural.  I do it all the time and it doesn't interfere whatsoever.  When walking through the parking garage I what-if.  When my car is warming up in the drive-way I what-if.  When my wife and I are walking through the streets downtown I what-if, even while we are talking.

The biggest take-away from this is to understand you have variables you need to plan as much as possible for.  You need to sit down with your family and talk about the what-ifs as it relates to your home, and even outside of it.  I tell my wife where she should set up and show her why.  I talk to her about the probable reactions of the kids.  Her running into the rooms of the kids will do the opposite of helping.  It can be a hard conversation and my wife cried when I was going over all the possible what-ifs that go through my mind constantly.  It scared her.  But the potential benefits of having the conversation may one day far outweigh the drawbacks of not having it.

As always, any questions please let me know.

Security for the Seasoned Individual

All right, getting back into it.  I have some down time before I head back overseas so lets see if I can knock out a few topics!

Our next item (getting back to the agenda...sort of) deals with the seasoned individual and the challenges they may face.  Now, when I say seasoned I'm talking 50 and above...and before I get a backlash I realize that 50 is not old!  But late 40's and early 50's is when health problems start to manifest themselves for a lot of people so I feel this is where we should start since your health definitely effects the tools you have available with which to protect yourself.  I was originally going to break this up into male and female, but as I started writing I realized there wasn't much difference between the two so I combined them.

First and foremost, be honest with yourself!  What is wrong with you right now that will limit your ability to protect yourself?  (Keep in mind, your answers to this question may also directly relate to your ability to use deadly force.  You are justified to use deadly force when you feel that your life is in danger, and in your 20's, you may have been able to take a beating.  But now, you may have a heart condition or you may be suffering from Osteoporosis which would turn a robbery into a homicide...with YOU being the victim).  If you carry a firearm, are you still able to see the sights of your weapon?  You may have carried it for 40 years but now, due to your need for bifocals, you may need to change the tactics with which you employ your weapon.  Above we mentioned conditions of the body that may increase the effects of a violent assault or an extremely stressful situation.  Some companies and agencies require that a stress test be done on any employees deploying to a high threat environment to ensure that they are not at an elevated risk of a heart attack when placed in an abnormally stressful situation.  Arthritis?  How effective will your struggles be?  Can you manipulate a weapon such as a pistol or knife or even Mace effectively when arthritis has hampered your ability to even make a fist?  Again, be honest.  The tools you used to rely on (strength, weapons, reaction time, quick thinking) may not be as sharp or accessible as they once were and by not admitting it you may be setting yourself up for serious injury or even death.
Another aspect of personal safety that needs to be addressed is accidents.  We spoke of Osteoporosis above.  If you are home alone and fall and are unable to reach a phone, how will you get help?  Joking about old people and breaking hips may seem funny, but a broken hip is no laughing matter.  In the military, a pelvic strike is considered deadly force because of the potential for serious bodily harm and/or death.  A major artery, the femoral, is found on the inside of your thighs about an inch or two above where your leg meets your genital area, if you follow the natural vee.  Sever one of these and you have maybe a few minutes to live.  Not only that, but your hips support your whole body.  We train to shoot the pelvic area in order to cause death and immediate disabling, so you can imagine you won't be doing much walking or even standing with a broken hip.
Hopefully we've got you thinking by now.  There are many more examples of bad things that can happen, whether it be by direct assault or by accident, but lets now focus on how to prevent, avoid, or at least mitigate the effects such an episode will have on you.
By far, the best defense you have against any crime or accident is situational awareness.  Remain cognizant of what is going on around you!  Secondly, have a plan.  I have already gone in depth in previous posts concerning such things as mindset, principles of security, and weapons so if you think that this post is lacking please read back.
Ok, let's talk situational awareness.  If you know that you are at risk for an accident, you must remain aware of your surroundings.  Set yourself up for success.  Make sure that the floor is clear of debris, make sure steps are clearly marked and hand railings have been installed.  Do you have a small dog or cat that runs beneath your feet?  Over time, you may have amassed a little wealth and enjoy nice cars and jewelry.  Realize that a thief may identify you as a soft (easy) target because of your age or your inability to fight back, and giving off the appearance of having money may not be such a wise choice depending upon your environment.  Also, be aware of possible scams.  Door-to-door salesman should be immediately and firmly sent on their way, bearing in mind that you do NOT have to open the door to talk to them.  At best they are selling needless products, at worst, they are criminals casing your house.  This is in no way a complete list, but the point is to get you thinking.  The internet is another area in which you need to be aware.  I strongly suggest you do some major reading, talk to a family member or friend who is active on the internet, or take an internet course (go through a reputable source, such as a tech college or some other accredited organization) because you could compromise a lot of your personal information, as well as others, if you do not adhere to good internet practices and have at least some idea of the threats out there, including internet scams.
Having a plan is essential in order to effectively deal with situations that will inevitably arise.  Earlier, we asked the question of how you would get help if you fell. There are such tools out there like LifeAlert  and ADT's Personal Emergency Response System  that you should consider.  Keep in mind that these tools are not confined to medical emergencies.  If you feel threatened, whether inside or outside of your home, you may utilize these tools.  It may not be the most effective response but at least somebody will be on the way to help you.  Cell phones.  Cell phones these days are almost a necessity.  You don't have to have some fancy phone, just something that you can use anywhere to call for help.  A home security system is always a good idea.  If you can't move very quickly and you have a fire in your house, how will you get out?  Are you on the first or second floor?  Should you install more smoke detectors?  A sprinkler system?  Modify your bedroom window in order to make it easier to get out of?    
The above should be a good start to an effective plan.  I'm going to keep stressing that this post is intended to get you thinking as opposed to cover all contingencies.  As we get older, our bodies do become weaker and we have to accept that and plan for it, regardless of how much it hurts our pride.
I hope this has helped in some way, and as always, if you have any questions do not hesitate!      
      

Child Safety

Sorry for the long delay...life!
It has recently come to my attention that a friend of mine is having issues with an ex-wife and her new boyfriend and the interaction between her new beau and his little girl.  That story is neither here nor there, but it brought up a situation I'm sure a lot of divorced parents with children have unfortunately experienced.  Picture yourself with kids, boys or girls, it doesn't matter.  Your ex takes the kids for the weekend and takes them to her new boyfriend/girlfriends house.  Being a nasty divorce, the ex is less then forthcoming on any information concerning anything, especially contact information on his/her new fling.  So off they go, your kids going into the unknown.  Are they safe?  Who is this guy?  Where does he live?  Then, to make it worse, your little girl/boy comes home and tells you that mommy/daddy's new boyfriend/girlfriend gives them the creeps.  Unless the new friend has actually done something to the child, there is, unfortunately, little anyone can do.  (I know laws are different in some states concerning who children can spend the night with if they aren't relatives but I'm generalizing.)
One legal thing that you as the parent can do that is totally legal and will also make your child feel a little safer is the Amber Alert GPS.  It does cost a monthly fee, but I believe it is well worth it.  Some of its features are Predator Alert, alerting you when the child is within 500ft of a sex offenders residence.  There is a panic button, speed alert if your child is going too fast, a safe zone you can establish that will alert you if your child leaves the virtual boundary, and also Smart phone tracking among other things.  This is not a cheap piece of gear, but considering what the alternative could be, it may be the best thing you ever bought.
This isn't going to be a long post, I just wanted to throw that out there while I was thinking about it.  I will try to get back on task in a few weeks but we shall see...  

On-Line Predators

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More to come soon, I apologize for the delay but I have made a job change and have moved across the country so please bear with me in my absence!

Security for the Teen Male

Sorry for my long absence, with the holidays and work things have been a bit hectic.  Staying with the short posts for now, let’s discuss security for the teen male.

Teen males have a bit of a different security issue to deal with than females.  Males in their teens generally fall into one or two of three categories; they can be the leader, follower, or a loner.  And to clarify, being a loner is not necessarily a bad thing.  They can be the kind of loner that all of you may be thinking of, the kind that doesn’t fit in and may have anger and self-esteem issues.  But there are also those that are just quiet.  They get good grades, have a high self esteem, but for whatever reason don’t socialize according to the “norm”. 

Leaders:  Leaders can also fall into two separate categories; they can either be the alpha male jocks that others look up to in a positive way (for the most part) or they can be the bully that others look up to in a negative way.  This class may have the highest security issues due to the very nature of their personality and their attempt to maintain their popularity.  Because of their personality everyone takes notice of them, both the good and the bad elements.  For example, let’s say that Johnny is the most popular kid at school and he is going to throw a party…who is going to come?  That’s right!  EVERYONE.  From my own personal experiences, mass parties usually teeter on the brink of chaos and there is no way that one guy can regulate all of those people.  Things will be broken and stolen and fights will most probably break out, especially if alcohol is involved.  Also, because of his popularity he will probably have more face time with more people which could lead to more anger direct towards him.  Think of the less popular kid, who doesn’t have such an alluring personality, watching his girlfriend flirt and make ga ga eyes at Johnny.  I’ve seen it happen plenty of times.  Common sense tells us to drop the girl and find someone who really cares about you.  But almost all teens lack common sense at this age, especially when females are involved.  Now Johnny may have become a target and he doesn’t even know it.   The bully, on the other hand, makes enemies more directly.  But due to his confidence and perceived invincibility from those whom he torments may feel as if there will never be any ramifications for his actions.  Bullying has seen a decline in recent years after the many high profile suicides and shootings shown on national television resulted in sweeping reforms throughout the U.S., mostly in the educational arena.  Many schools now have a “no tolerance” policy towards bullying, harsher punishments specifically for bullying, and workshops for the teachers on how to recognize bullying and how to stop it starting at the elementary level.  

While the first line of defense for these “leaders” continues to be and has to be themselves, parents, peers, and role models come in a close second.  At this stage in life, many teens feel 10ft. tall and bullet proof and think nothing bad can ever happen to them.  It is up to the adults who care for the individual to discuss potential dangers with him and ensure that they are at least aware of the negative consequences that could come from being on “top”.   Parents also need to be mindful of the fact that their property could become collateral damage in any dispute their son may currently be involved in, even if he doesn’t know he is in a dispute  (yard jobs, house or cars being egged, house being toilet papered, broken windows, keyed cars…).

Followers:  The main concern with followers is that they can be loose cannons.  Leaders set the pace with their actions and personalities and a lot of followers try to imitate them and bask in the residuals they get just by being around them.  Some followers, however, feel the need to be recognized by the leader or outshine him in order to steal some of the spotlight and to that end will go above and beyond what their leader, who is already pushing the boundaries, would do.  Consider the leader who, at a party, decides to drag race his car down the street for a bit to the whistles and applause from the audience.  Seeing his chance, the follower does the same thing but needs to go faster and drive more recklessly in order to show that he can be better than the leader.  Or in the case of the bully, imagine the follower one-upping his leader and instead of throwing eggs at a car decides to throw rocks to show he has “balls”.  I mention these scenarios because I have seen them, and more, first hand. 

Again, in order to minimize the security threat the same recommendation I gave for the leader can also apply to follower. 

Loner:   The bad loner, the one everyone thinks of when you mention loner, can potentially be a real threat to himself and others.  The fact that he is a loner isn’t the issue, it is the why?  Early intervention from the key players mentioned above is critical.  There are a lot of reasons one could be a loner but more than likely, as a teen, he will see some negative responses because of it from his peers.  The good loner is usually the “safest” of the bunch due to his self esteem and low profile.  Most people leave him alone because they don’t really know he is there or he is easily forgettable, and those that do pick on him are immediately confronted either by the individual or those around him that feel the need to protect him, or he tells someone who can help. 

You may notice that this post has differed from the female version in that the female version I identified specific threats towards the girls that they may face.  In this post I gave an overview of the categories teen males typically fall into and what kind of security issues they may face because of it.  Males have it easy in the sense that if they keep to themselves, stay out of other people’s business, and ensure that their actions only affect themselves or others in a positive way they can expect to remain relatively safe except for the occasional random act of violence.  The problem is that we are males.  We don’t keep to ourselves a lot of the times, we put our nose in other people’s business for whatever reason, and have an “it’s a free country so sorry if your feelings are hurt by my actions” type attitude.  And males, as my wife constantly points out, differ from females in that we usually can’t put on a happy face for those that we don’t get along with like women can.  When men piss each other off, most of the time we take care of it on the spot and that is the end of it….usually.  That kind of conflict resolution makes it almost impossible to sit here and write contingencies for every situation that pops up, which is why I generalized it.  The important take-away here is to know your teen, know what he’s about, and guide him through the rollercoaster ride until he finds himself.  Be a parent, be a mentor, and be a role model. 

Security for the Teen Female

I have been getting feedback that I should shorten my posts so they are not so time consuming to read.   I will try it with this post but would like more feedback on if I should continue this way or go back to including all relevant information.  Thanks!

I have split up the categories such as teen female and teen male because each are unique in their circumstance.  Males have a different set of worries than females so they should be discussed separately in order to maximize safety.  Teens, regardless of gender, are at their most vulnerable during this stage in life.  They are trying to find out who they are and tend to either be a pack leader or follower.  As parents know, either path can lead to problems.  I am speaking strictly from an American point of few as many different countries have different views concerning girls and women and other countries also have a higher rate of sex crimes such as prostitution and trafficking that I am not qualified to comment or give advice on 

The main issue with girls at this age deals with sex.  Hormones on both sides are raging, they finally have the freedom to act on their emotions, and they want to feel in control of their lives.  I’m not making a case for abstinence; I’m simply saying that a lot of safety concerns for teen girls are of a sexual nature.   Not only are boys of the same age taking an interest, but men with much more experience in manipulation are unfortunately also taking an interest.  You the female need to be aware of this and on your guard. 

First and foremost, you need to be upfront with males.  They can’t process subtleties when their hormones are raging.  If you want a guy to leave you alone you have to draw a clear line.  I know it is not in most girls’ nature to be “rude” and tell a guy to stop calling but it needs to happen.  Ignoring their phone calls or blowing them off when they talk to you will not make them “get the hint”.  The guy will merely think that he needs to try harder.  If the situation persists, tell somebody.  Make it known.  Tell your parents, tell your girlfriends, tell your other guy friends, or tell your teachers.  Whoever you feel comfortable with.  You should definitely tell someone if an adult man is interested in you, regardless if he is pestering you or not.  Tread carefully and listen to your friends and your instincts.  If it doesn’t feel right it probably isn’t.

Know who you are getting involved with.  If you like a guy that you don’t know very well, guard your personal information closely.  Don’t let him drop you off at home, don’t befriend him on Facebook or MySpace or any other social site where you have a lot of personal information available, and don’t give out your home telephone number.  Also, don’t allow yourself to be alone with him in a private setting until you are sure of his intentions.  Do your own research.  See if you can find him on Facebook.  Go through his pictures and wall posts if you are able and get a feel for what kind of friends this guy has and what he likes to do. 

I will hit internet security pretty hard in another post but for now I will throw out these few tips:  Do not add your home phone number to the white pages listing.  While there are other ways to find out your address or phone number through the internet, don’t make it too easy.  Ensure that you make everything private or “friends only” on your social sites, and then only add people you know.  Facebook has added a new application that allows you to post your current location, and also allows others to post your current location.  If you need help disabling that let me know.   Stay away from chat rooms and web cams. 

Watch your drinks at parties, and if you go to the bathroom make sure somebody else is watching it.  I’m a grown man and I still have someone watch my drink. 

Always have a way out at parties, ensure that there is someone available and reliable who can come and pick you up regardless of the time or place. 

If you are going out with a guy, ensure somebody knows where you are going and when you should be back.

You need to make a decision about sex before you and your guy are naked rolling around on the bed or wherever.  Most men see a “making out” session as a prelude to sex, while the girl simply views it as a wonderful time being together.  If you are not willing to go all the way, keep the “making out” and fondling  limited to someplace at least semi-public and again, set clear boundaries.  Every guy should respect a girl’s wish when she says no, but what if he doesn’t?  You can’t walk into a known bad neighborhood and then be surprised when you get mugged or assaulted.  You have to take some ownership for your actions and decisions, you have to be smart. 

Lastly, be aware of your surroundings.  I’ve covered how to do this in previous posts so if you haven’t read it go back and do so.  It will go a long way in keeping you out of trouble!

Again, this is the first time I’ve attempted to write a shorter post while maintaining the blog’s integrity.  If you like it and it still helps, please let me know.  If you think more sustenance is helpful tell me.

Either way I hope you learned something.